This is the part where I’m supposed to say something pithy, like “They don’t call it March Madness for nothing.” But really, who can be bothered? The tournament uniforms that the friendly lifestylists at Adidas unveiled yesterday for Louisville, Baylor, and Cincinnati are so laughably pathetic, they don’t even register on the good/stupid scale.
The worst part, though, is how these “designs” come off like low-grade Nike knock-offs, from the trend-hopping (gray, Day-Glo, how original!) to the execution. It’s like a pimply-faced freshman trying to dress up like a slick upperclassman and making a fool of himself in the process. Say this much for the Swooshkateers: Their designs may suck and their marketing approach may be loathsome, but at least they maintain a veneer of professionalism. Adidas feels like amateur hour by comparison.
If you can take any of this seriously, you’re way ahead of me. I’ll only offer two quick thoughts: (1) It’s a shame about Baylor, which actually had a really nice-looking uni set, and (2) the guy in the Louisville jersey looks like he’s wearing a strapless dress with a red bra.
Radio reminder: I’ll be talking about uniforms and other things tonight on WFMU’s Seven Second Delay show. As you can see on that page, the other guests will be New Yorker writer Susan Orlean (whose work I greatly admire, although she was rather rude to me one time back in 1995), the two guys from They Might Be Giants (whose work I’ve never much cared for, although I once spent a very pleasant evening with them way back in 1986), and drummer Will Glass (who I know nothing about and have never met).
The program runs from 6pm-7pm, and I’m told that I’ll be appearing in the latter half of the show. You can access the live stream here. The show will be broadcast live from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Manhattan (307 West 26th Street), and NYCers who’d like to attend can buy tix at the door for $5.
Uni Watch News Ticker: Kobe Bryant wore a black mask last night, instead of his usual clear model. … Remember those photos of the 1943 Yankees with straight lettering on their road jerseys? Mike Kingery did a bit of additional research on that front: “I went through each issue of the 1943 Sporting News and found a few images of the Yankees’ road jerseys, but nothing conclusive. This photo from the May 20th issue shows Joe McCarthy with arched lettering and the caption indicates the photo was taken at a game in Washington. The Yankees played in Washington in the series directly after the series at Fenway where the straight-lettering photos were taken. But this photo hows McCarthy with what appears to be straight lettering next to Nick Etten wearing arched lettering. Then there’s this photo, taken in the spring of ’44, which shows at least one player with straight lettering. It appears that the Yankees may have had two sets of road jerseys that got mixed and matched.” … More details about Missouri’s new football uniforms, which will be unveiled next month. … Oh baby, look at this killer jersey tag. It’s from this beautiful jersey (from Marty B). … A massive Columbus Crew billboard/mural has gone up in Columbus. “Interestingly, the local commission that regulates such ads views its mission as ‘mak[ing] such marketing more pleasing to the eye and less about the advertising message itself,'” writes Kevin Mueller. “With the Crew mural, this meant removing product placement of a Barbasol shave can (but not removal of the big honking Barbasol across the jersey).” … Jesse Gavin is covering the Iowa State high school hoops championships and has noticed some interesting details, such as Boyden-Hull going with white lettering on a white jersey and Nodaway Valley waring black/purple argyle. … Good thing global climate change is just a librul hoax, or else it could have grave implications for hockey. … Bigtime college hoops is coming to my neighborhood, and let me tell you, I’m just overjoyed. If you score tickets and need a place to crash, my couch is available for a mere $250 a night plus you have to clean Tucker and Caitlin’s litter box, WHAT A BARGAIN! … According to a new blog about sports merch, TCU isn’t revising its logo after all. … Three NBA players have inked new sponsorship deals with Spalding, of all companies. Spalding’s even rolling out a new line of sneakers for them to wear. … A T-shirt site has recently added a bunch of USFL designs (from Justin Robertson). … Some nice scans from a 1968 German Adidas catalog here (big thanks to Patrick Woody). … Lots of cool Padres-related artwork here (from Brady Phelps). … The Mets apparently still have some of last year’s BP caps floating around, although the sight of the old GM is somewhat more upsetting than the old cap (from Nick Schiavo). … Union High in Washington State has a beveled logo and a beveled wordmark on their basketball court — noting new there. But they’ve taken it a step further with a beveled key (good spot by Darin Nelson). … Ice Cube has a new Raiders-themed T-shirt. Does Al Davis — or his ghost — know about this? (From Kevin Wright.) … A Bills T-shirt from Nike is arriving at retail (from Leo Thornton). … Did you know you can recycle your old hockey stick? You can! “I like their play on the recycling logo,” says Marty Hick. … Rare sight at the bottom of this page: a Tigers TATC jersey (big thanks to Kevin Dugal). … New logo and uniforms for the Woodlands Strykers (from Alan Poff). … Big congrats to Joe Skiba, who’s been named Equipment Manager of the Year.