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Tales Of Over-Accessorization: Carlos Guillen

guillen

Baseball has spent a lot of time over the winter on performance-enhancing drugs — who did them, for how long, and who knew about it? All important concerns, of course. The integrity of the game is paramount, despite spending the last 20 years in a compromised state.

Senator Mitchell needs open an investigation into a different kind of performance-enhancer — namely all the crap Carlos Guillen is wearing. Let’s make a tally, shall we? (Big version here, so you can play along at home.)

Eyewear: Eye-black strips and sunglasses. Just in case the sun takes a seat behind the plate.
Headwear: Yeah, I’m counting the new 5950 — it has performance-enhancing fabrics.
Neckwear: When the final hour approaches, the deity in charge won’t have any trouble finding Carlos.
Elbow-wear: Phiten Titanium sleeves. And you thought the necklaces were dumb.
Wristwear: Those aren’t wristbands, that’s tape. Stretchy tape, to be exact.
Lipwear: The ever-present — and perhaps surgically attached — dip cannot be ignored.

Guillen has had knee problems in the past, too, so I’m pretty sure there’s more titanium down there somewhere — or maybe some carbon fiber. But imagine if the crosses were made of titanium, too. What’s more powerful than titanium Jesus? Scandium Jesus?

Theological questions aside, Guillen’s ensemble kinda makes me long for the days when players tried to get an advantage by merely peeing on their hands (third item from the bottom). — Bryan

 

77 comments to Tales Of Over-Accessorization: Carlos Guillen

  • Chris | March 8, 2008 at 7:20 am |

    Maybe Stern needs to take over baseball and put in a dress code there too. You know he would make stirrups manditory. And remind me never to shake Alou’s hand. Yikes.

  • Lex | March 8, 2008 at 7:32 am |

    What’s strechy tape? is that like pre-wrap?
    And doesn’t look too bad too me, kinda like the new long pants/wristbands/sleeves/necklaces/sunglasses look:)

  • Stuby | March 8, 2008 at 8:23 am |

    Bryan, any pictures showing his entire glove? – I bet it isn’t anything understated.

    And perhaps he had knee problems from trying to lug around all that extra crap.

  • Stan | March 8, 2008 at 8:53 am |

    Ridiculous….give me the “good ol’ days when ballplayers didn’t wear jewelry, lacked batting gloves, showed stirrups, played in the daytime, had names like Johnson, Wagner, Cobb, Ruth, Young, Williams, Musial, Mantle, Brock, Koufax…ah yes…when it was a game…!!!

  • KW | March 8, 2008 at 9:06 am |

    [quote comment=”235829″]Ridiculous….give me the “good ol’ days when ballplayers didn’t wear jewelry, lacked batting gloves, showed stirrups, played in the daytime, had names like Johnson, Wagner, Cobb, Ruth, Young, Williams, Musial, Mantle, Brock, Koufax…ah yes…when it was a game…!!![/quote]

    The best part of that would be then you wouldnt have a computer to make comments like that one.

  • DenverGregg | March 8, 2008 at 9:08 am |

    Titanium, feh. When accessories are made of plutonium, then it’s time to be concerned.

  • Dan from PC | March 8, 2008 at 9:12 am |

    Another gem Bryan.

    I must say I look forward to your satirical musings every weekend. Keep it up.

  • Mike Engle | March 8, 2008 at 9:15 am |

    [quote comment=”235799″]Maybe Stern needs to take over baseball and put in a dress code there too. You know he would make stirrups manditory. And remind me never to shake Alou’s hand. Yikes.[/quote]
    Uh…don’t you mean SELIG?

  • James | March 8, 2008 at 9:27 am |

    Bryan is an angry young man. I suppose everyone should go around looking the same like robots.

  • Jonathon | March 8, 2008 at 9:35 am |

    I can vouch for the titanium sleeve. It definitely helps my elbow during the 4-beer-league-softball-teams-at-once season.

  • Tom From Staten Island | March 8, 2008 at 9:38 am |

    Blackhawks retire Bobby Hull and Stan Mikita’s number last night. the 2 player wore the new rbk edge jerseys
    http://cdn.nhl.com/i...

  • Chris | March 8, 2008 at 9:50 am |

    [quote comment=”235844″][quote comment=”235799″]Maybe Stern needs to take over baseball and put in a dress code there too. You know he would make stirrups manditory. And remind me never to shake Alou’s hand. Yikes.[/quote]
    Uh…don’t you mean SELIG?[/quote]
    No, I’m saying Stern should become the commish of the MLB too. He’s the best commissioner of any league right now and seems to care about the image of his league.

  • Juan Grande | March 8, 2008 at 10:12 am |

    Gotta support Carlos on this. All of his accessories have a high “CDI” (Chicks Dig It) factor.

  • Jeff B | March 8, 2008 at 10:22 am |

    [quote comment=”235852″]Blackhawks retire Bobby Hull and Stan Mikita’s number last night. the 2 player wore the new rbk edge jerseys
    http://cdn.nhl.com/i...

    I’m a hawks fan, and I love Hull and Mikita, but I do believe their numbers were already hanging in the rafters. Hull’s was retired in ’83 and Mikita in ’80. Seems redundant.

  • The Ol Goaler | March 8, 2008 at 10:30 am |

    [quote comment=”235852″]Blackhawks retire Bobby Hull and Stan Mikita’s number last night. the 2 player wore the new rbk edge jerseys
    http://cdn.nhl.com/i...
    Huh??? I don’t get it (even though I Get ItTM as a UniWatcher)… Hull and Mikita’s numbers were already retired!

    Oh, well, I guess this is another attempt to redeem the Blackhawks from the marketing follies of the late Bill Wirtz. The link’s not working, but the ‘Hawks have also retired Glenn Hall’s #1, Tony Esposito’s #35, and current coach Denis Savard’s #18.

    I wish the rest of the NHL would follow the New York Rangers’ lead and cut off those silly Edge “shirttails”…

  • Jeff B | March 8, 2008 at 10:36 am |

    Found this quote in this article, which basically sums up the ceremony and circumstances.

    “Rocky Wirtz was cheered by a sellout crowd when he introduced Hull and Mikita from centre ice. The last time William Wirtz stepped on to the United Center ice – during a 1998 ceremony to retire current coach Denis Savard’s number – the crowd booed so loudly that Wirtz couldn’t be heard on the building’s public address system.”

  • Luther Mahoney | March 8, 2008 at 10:46 am |

    I like the new New Era 5950s. Compared to the older wool models-with the grey underbill and
    white sweatbands-the new 5950s hold up better,especially on hot days. I have worn my new
    Red Sox 5950 almost every day,since I purchased it last April,and I have only given it a quick
    wash only once. And on hot summer days,the cap
    feels lighter than the older,wool models.

  • Matt W. | March 8, 2008 at 10:47 am |

    Pretty funny stuff. Although, if you are going to do a profile of every MLB player who over-accessorized, then Paul should just take a year vacation.

  • Shane | March 8, 2008 at 10:58 am |

    [quote comment=”235852″]Blackhawks retire Bobby Hull and Stan Mikita’s number last night. the 2 player wore the new rbk edge jerseys
    http://cdn.nhl.com/i...

    Ehhh. The Blackhawks sweaters didn’t really change that much when they went to the Edge. Still one of the best looking teams in the NHL.

  • Bryan Redemske | March 8, 2008 at 11:02 am |

    [quote comment=”235848″]Bryan is an angry young man. I suppose everyone should go around looking the same like robots.[/quote]

    Dude, if you want to look for robots, check out the guy with the titanium elbows and two pounds of metal around his neck.

  • James Craven | March 8, 2008 at 11:13 am |

    Mount Pleasant Sacred Heart’s wore Christmas colors of green and red during their Michigan High School Athletic Association Class D Girl’s Basketball championship game.

  • Viren | March 8, 2008 at 11:34 am |

    Well spring training is the time to try new things. Hopefully he’ll look in the mirror/see himself in a picture and realize how cool he looks

  • Hank | March 8, 2008 at 11:35 am |

    With all that junk on, Guillen is just crying out for attention. ‘Look at me!!’ ‘Look at all the crap I’m wearing!!’ And it worked.

    As the saying goes: Any publicity is good publicity. (As long as you spell my name right.)

    Regarding the eye-black and sunglasses, the only thing dumber are outfielders who wear their shades on their hat on a brilliant sunny day and never put them on when fielding fly balls. But wear them while sitting in the dugout. Bobby Abreu used to do that all the time with the Phillies. Just stoopid.

  • LI Phil | March 8, 2008 at 11:39 am |

    [quote comment=”235818″]Bryan, any pictures showing his entire glove? – I bet it isn’t anything understated.

    And perhaps he had knee problems from trying to lug around all that extra crap.[/quote]

    now that he’s apparently too immobile to play short anymore, guillen wears a mitt

    and i too love the sunglasses on the cap look…WTF?

  • LI Phil | March 8, 2008 at 11:57 am |

    it’s beginning to look a lot like …

    oh well

    countdown to opening day at the jake progressive field

  • Talon Lardner | March 8, 2008 at 11:57 am |

    [quote comment=”235895″][quote comment=”235848″]Bryan is an angry young man. I suppose everyone should go around looking the same like robots.[/quote]

    Dude, if you want to look for robots, check out the guy with the titanium elbows and two pounds of metal around his neck.[/quote]

    And not look in the robot leauge of blurnsball?

    Joking aside, I think that, while busy, the level of clutter isn’t so bad on him. The necklaces may be a bit much, yes, but I don’t have any objection to the arm braces.

  • dm00n | March 8, 2008 at 12:04 pm |

    A UNC women’s hoops player had a memorial to their slain student body president last night.

  • Peter | March 8, 2008 at 12:07 pm |

    Interesting note at the end of the latest entry on this blog. Kevin Dipietro, equipment “guru” of the Toronto Raptors was named MLSE employee of the month.

  • dm00n | March 8, 2008 at 12:10 pm |

    The Tigers have a few players keeping rainbow tinted 1990 Oakley Razor style shades alive. Maybe they are hoping someday they will look cool again, but I doubt it.

  • Chad | March 8, 2008 at 12:13 pm |

    nice list of some interesting sports superstitions. not all uni related, but a good read regardless

  • Matt W. | March 8, 2008 at 12:53 pm |

    I don’t know. I think the only two things you could really harp about is the Sunglasses/eyeblack thing and the elbow sleeves.

    Anything else you said was a bit far-fetched:

    -You are counting the 5950 as an accessory? Doesnt everyone wear that?

    -I will never dog on a guy for having too many crosses on his neck. there are far worse things a player could overindulge in.

    -When I played baseball I also taped my wrists. It helped keep my throwing constant and gave a better cut while batting.

    -Dip eh? we all know that no other player uses that.

    The irony of it all is Guillen is being criticized by someone who bikes…a sport where even amatuers feel the need to dress up like a clown.

  • Mike | March 8, 2008 at 1:15 pm |

    Georgetown is wearing their new SODs today… Doesn’t look all that different from their normal jerseys and you can’t really notice the difference except for the lack of shoulder stripe and the piping that runs down the back. Also, Roy Hibbert normally wears an undershirt that goes all the way down to his elbow but today… no undershirt. Sorry for no screen grab.

  • Ryan | March 8, 2008 at 1:15 pm |

    [quote comment=”235859″][quote comment=”235844″][quote comment=”235799″]Maybe Stern needs to take over baseball and put in a dress code there too. You know he would make stirrups manditory. And remind me never to shake Alou’s hand. Yikes.[/quote]
    Uh…don’t you mean SELIG?[/quote]
    No, I’m saying Stern should become the commish of the MLB too. He’s the best commissioner of any league right now and seems to care about the image of his league.[/quote]

    I’ll start by saying that I wholeheartedly support the NBA dress code. However, I must disagree vehemently with your characterization of Stern as the best commish of any league now, and the “image of the league” thing. I don’t even live in Seattle, but his complicity in the ongoing Sonics debacle is despicable and demonstrates no regard for the integrity of the league (not to mention personal integrity). You want to protect the “image” of your league? Don’t run it like your personal fiefdom for the benefit of your favorite robber barons.

  • Dan from PC | March 8, 2008 at 1:18 pm |

    Do people actually have to criticize Bryan? Am I the only one who gets the tongue in cheek humor behind this, or am I missing something?

  • Cathy | March 8, 2008 at 1:45 pm |

    [quote comment=”236005″]Georgetown is wearing their new SODs today… Doesn’t look all that different from their normal jerseys and you can’t really notice the difference except for the lack of shoulder stripe and the piping that runs down the back. Also, Roy Hibbert normally wears an undershirt that goes all the way down to his elbow but today… no undershirt. Sorry for no screen grab.[/quote]

    Mike, I was going to comment on this. Actually, Hibbert WAS wearing the baggy t-shirt when the game started. I thought it looked odd with the SOD and he must have been uncomfortable and changed it. Good game….tied up right now…

  • Forbesy | March 8, 2008 at 2:24 pm |

    g-town in their new SOD unis today. i feel left out that my school doesn’t have them. nike is a bunch of meanies.

  • Tom From Staten Island | March 8, 2008 at 2:33 pm |

    [quote comment=”235870″][quote comment=”235852″]Blackhawks retire Bobby Hull and Stan Mikita’s number last night. the 2 player wore the new rbk edge jerseys
    http://cdn.nhl.com/i...

    I’m a hawks fan, and I love Hull and Mikita, but I do believe their numbers were already hanging in the rafters. Hull’s was retired in ’83 and Mikita in ’80. Seems redundant.[/quote]
    yea u were right. blackhawks just honored them last night

  • Pete | March 8, 2008 at 2:37 pm |

    [quote comment=”235866″]Gotta support Carlos on this. All of his accessories have a high “CDI” (Chicks Dig It) factor.[/quote]

    The above statement is ridiculous. First, no girls dig chewing tobacco. Second, he looks like a moron. I will forgive him the titanium, because everyone can’t be a good ballplayer and have the brains to avoid getting ripoffed by voodoo medicine. The pre-wrap wrist bands deserve no excuses, they are an eyesore.

    No wonder he had t move from shortstop to firstbase, no one can actually field with all of that garbage on.

  • Marty Met | March 8, 2008 at 3:34 pm |

    [quote comment=”236014″]Do people actually have to criticize Bryan? Am I the only one who gets the tongue in cheek humor behind this, or am I missing something?[/quote]

    I think Bryan is funny

  • Taylor | March 8, 2008 at 3:42 pm |

    [quote comment=”236107″]g-town in their new SOD unis today. i feel left out that my school doesn’t have them. nike is a bunch of meanies.[/quote]

    How do you think I feel? I went to George Mason. Nike is SUPPOSED to make all their Final Four schools an “Elite” school and nothing has happened. They have stock Nike jerseys (any high school coach can buy online), heck, they don’t even use Nike basketballs. I guess Nike only grants “Elite” status to schools who have been to a Final Four AND is a major school. It’s a real slap in the face to the mid-majors. It’s why I don’t buy Nikes. (not to mention their basketball shoes fall apart).

  • nididakes | March 8, 2008 at 3:55 pm |

    bryan’s a jokester, of course; but i like the comment by user who points out the ridiculous biking hobby. few things get my goat more than seeing these weekday jan ullrich’s out there. unless you’re actually in a, you know, race, you probably don’t need special shoes to clip to your pedals, or skintight aerodynamic gear.

    i’m not down on bicycling at all. i ride every day, to and from work, the store et c. but i also rode from NYC to montauk in one day wearing naught but adidas sneaks (1967 chile), corduroys and a three-quarter sleeve t. i laugh when i see clowns (good word) in their touring getups trying to stuff in their weekly fitness or love of the road or whatnot. they’re as bad as the dolts who drive to work every day, then waste money on a gym membership. bicycles are transportation, not excuses to collect “components.”

    if you don’t want your cuff caught in the chain, roll it up.

  • nididakes | March 8, 2008 at 4:00 pm |

    sorry 62 chile, forgive me heads

  • Matt W. | March 8, 2008 at 4:03 pm |

    [quote comment=”236128″][quote comment=”235866″]Gotta support Carlos on this. All of his accessories have a high “CDI” (Chicks Dig It) factor.[/quote]

    The above statement is ridiculous. First, no girls dig chewing tobacco. Second, he looks like a moron. I will forgive him the titanium, because everyone can’t be a good ballplayer and have the brains to avoid getting ripoffed by voodoo medicine. The pre-wrap wrist bands deserve no excuses, they are an eyesore.

    No wonder he had t move from shortstop to firstbase, no one can actually field with all of that garbage on.[/quote]

    Yup, an all-star shortstop who is a .300 hitter. What a terrible player

  • Mike | March 8, 2008 at 4:08 pm |

    [quote comment=”236247″]bryan’s a jokester, of course; but i like the comment by user who points out the ridiculous biking hobby. few things get my goat more than seeing these weekday jan ullrich’s out there. unless you’re actually in a, you know, race, you probably don’t need special shoes to clip to your pedals, or skintight aerodynamic gear.

    i’m not down on bicycling at all. i ride every day, to and from work, the store et c. but i also rode from NYC to montauk in one day wearing naught but adidas sneaks (1967 chile), corduroys and a three-quarter sleeve t. i laugh when i see clowns (good word) in their touring getups trying to stuff in their weekly fitness or love of the road or whatnot. they’re as bad as the dolts who drive to work every day, then waste money on a gym membership. bicycles are transportation, not excuses to collect “components.”

    if you don’t want your cuff caught in the chain, roll it up.[/quote]
    But do you think its ridiculous when grown men put on full hockey gear for a rec league game? Or tennis players wick-away shirts while playing at the local club?

    The point of biking equipment is to help improve the ride and make the rider better, I honestly can’t believe you would have a problem with them…seems like your just trying to find away to insult Bryan.

  • ODU Hoops Madness | March 8, 2008 at 4:48 pm |

    The point of biking equipment is to help improve the ride and make the rider better, I honestly can’t believe you would have a problem with them…seems like your just trying to find away to insult Bryan.[/quote]

    And illustrate your lack of understanding for a fine sport.

  • Jeff P | March 8, 2008 at 5:06 pm |

    No, I don’t think that’s it. Unless you’re going to race, why wear those things? In an adult Rec leage hockey game, it’s till competitive- as in, you’re playing against other people. Same with the tennis wicking shirt. And in the case of the hockey gear, it’s protective.

    nididakes is saying (I think) that if you’re not actually competing, it’s pointless. If you’re biking just for a workout, you don’t need to wear the entire getup and use all the extra gadgets and such that you only need if you’re racing.

  • PR | March 8, 2008 at 5:20 pm |

    [quote comment=”236311″]No, I don’t think that’s it. Unless you’re going to race, why wear those things? In an adult Rec leage hockey game, it’s till competitive- as in, you’re playing against other people. Same with the tennis wicking shirt. And in the case of the hockey gear, it’s protective.

    nididakes is saying (I think) that if you’re not actually competing, it’s pointless. If you’re biking just for a workout, you don’t need to wear the entire getup and use all the extra gadgets and such that you only need if you’re racing.[/quote]

    I would argue that the gear (spandex/shoes/saddles/pedals/et. al)all serve to improve the workout, so it is appropriate. As for competition, many people who run/bike will often compete against the clock or their own physical limitations. Granted, cyclists may be more colorful, but that is part of the appeal of the sport.

  • James | March 8, 2008 at 6:02 pm |

    Answer me this, Bryan. Why post on a blog if you can’t take valid criticism and criticize how others express themselves? My comment that was deleted was not out of line.

    Guillen chooses to express himself in this way, and I applaud it. It is different. It is part of him and possibly part of his culture.

    Because you don’t understand it or like it, you criticize it.

    Well I don’t like that you criticize it, so I feel I should be able to criticize you just as you are free to criticize my point of view. I believe your posts often come across as snarky and a little mean-spirited.

  • Bryan Redemske | March 8, 2008 at 6:13 pm |

    Oh holy hell … you guys are having fun today, aren’t you?

    Just to clear a few things up:
    I’m a competitive cyclist. I’m on a race team. I’m nationally ranked (though very, very, very low. No, lower than that even.). I ride from 250-300 miles a week in the summer and, when possible, to work as well. So it’s a little more than a “ridiculous hobby.” Well, at least I think so.

    I wear my team kit for the vast majority of my time on the bike. That’s what my contract says, so that’s what I do. I have shoes with cleats and clipless pedals. And yes, it all helps me ride farther and more comfortably. It’s part of the uniform. The same cannot be said for eye black/war paint, titanium sleeves, or any number of necklaces.

  • Bryan Redemske | March 8, 2008 at 6:16 pm |

    [quote comment=”236327″]Answer me this, Bryan. Why post on a blog if you can’t take valid criticism and criticize how others express themselves? My comment that was deleted was not out of line.

    Guillen chooses to express himself in this way, and I applaud it. It is different. It is part of him and possibly part of his culture.

    Because you don’t understand it or like it, you criticize it.

    Well I don’t like that you criticize it, so I feel I should be able to criticize you just as you are free to criticize my point of view. I believe your posts often come across as snarky and a little mean-spirited.[/quote]

    Dude, I haven’t deleted anything. I just got here. But I fail to see how titanium sleeves are a part of anybody’s culture.

  • Brad Northstar | March 8, 2008 at 6:57 pm |

    Keep up the good work, Bryan.

  • Stuby | March 8, 2008 at 8:07 pm |

    Bryan, I appreciate that you work very hard at your sport and that your uniform is justified by your being a member of a competetive cycling team.

    I’ll bet that even you, though, have a good chuckle when you see a weekend rider out there wearing a full Rabobank or CSC kit, especially when the jersey is stretched to the limit by a healthy gut.

  • John | March 8, 2008 at 8:16 pm |

    Bryan, great post today!

    I was watching the AHL game between the Grand Rapids Griffins and the Lake Erie Monsters (why i dont know) any way the Monsters are wearing these really ugly BLUE tie-dye jerseys
    http://www.lakeeriem... (sorry link isnt linking)

    But the funny part is the Lake Erie jersey is wearing his normal RED home jersey.

  • Forbesy | March 8, 2008 at 8:19 pm |

    [quote comment=”236225″][quote comment=”236107″]g-town in their new SOD unis today. i feel left out that my school doesn’t have them. nike is a bunch of meanies.[/quote]

    How do you think I feel? I went to George Mason. Nike is SUPPOSED to make all their Final Four schools an “Elite” school and nothing has happened. They have stock Nike jerseys (any high school coach can buy online), heck, they don’t even use Nike basketballs. I guess Nike only grants “Elite” status to schools who have been to a Final Four AND is a major school. It’s a real slap in the face to the mid-majors. It’s why I don’t buy Nikes. (not to mention their basketball shoes fall apart).[/quote]

    i went to UVA – i’m sort of joking about not having the SOD for my beloved wahoos, but i’d love to see what they’d look like. would nike put “wahoos” on the jersey? i think that would be phenomenal. or even seeing “cavaliers” would be cool. anyone out there have a template for SOD jerseys? my skills aren’t up to par – i.e., i suck at photoshop.

  • Bryan Redemske | March 8, 2008 at 8:28 pm |

    [quote comment=”236357″]
    I’ll bet that even you, though, have a good chuckle when you see a weekend rider out there wearing a full Rabobank or CSC kit, especially when the jersey is stretched to the limit by a healthy gut.[/quote]

    It’s basically the cycling equivalent of this. Though, in the interest of full disclosure, before I joined the team, I — on a couple of occasions — wore Discovery Channel gear. Gasp! I’ve learned the error of my ways, said my penance to Fausto Coppi, and moved on.

  • Spencer | March 8, 2008 at 8:32 pm |

    Here is a good shot of Georgetown’s System of Dress Uniforms. They look pretty solid to me.

  • Joseph | March 8, 2008 at 9:09 pm |

    UNC has EVE patches to honor slain student body president Eve Carson.

  • Stuby | March 8, 2008 at 9:12 pm |

    Carolina appears to be wearing a memorial patch for their slain Student Body President, Eve Carson. Black circle with white “EVE” lettering.

    Also, everyone in the crowd at Cameron is wearing Carolina blue and white ribbons.

  • Joe4590 | March 8, 2008 at 9:53 pm |

    First time, long time…great site guys! That is awesome that you had pics of both the Hot Grill and Hot Dog Johnny’s. I have family and friends that live by both, so I know them all too well. All you need now is Rutt’s Hut for the trifecta.

    Can someone post a link to the Specal Forces patches? Thanks and Cheers!

  • LI Phil | March 8, 2008 at 10:39 pm |

    [quote comment=”236372″]UNC has EVE patches to honor slain student body president Eve Carson.[/quote]
    [quote comment=”236373″]Carolina appears to be wearing a memorial patch for their slain Student Body President, Eve Carson. Black circle with white “EVE” lettering.

    Also, everyone in the crowd at Cameron is wearing Carolina blue and white ribbons.[/quote]

    heels w/eve patch

  • BigBootyLover58 | March 8, 2008 at 10:59 pm |

    With the exception of his first post criticizing the high-school kid, IMO Bryan has been doing a fine job on the weekends, and I don’t understand why people just feel the need to unload on him. I get the feeling that people are going to complain about anybody who isn’t PL. It’s the weekend, fellas. Lighten up.

  • Stuby | March 8, 2008 at 11:14 pm |

    [quote comment=”236392″][quote comment=”236372″]UNC has EVE patches to honor slain student body president Eve Carson.[/quote]
    [quote comment=”236373″]Carolina appears to be wearing a memorial patch for their slain Student Body President, Eve Carson. Black circle with white “EVE” lettering.

    Also, everyone in the crowd at Cameron is wearing Carolina blue and white ribbons.[/quote]

    heels w/eve patch[/quote]
    Ah, so the lettering was Carolina Blue. My bad.

  • J | March 8, 2008 at 11:23 pm |

    Really liked the humor in today’s post… awesome job Bryan.

    On a different note, I thought the tribute was very well done very simple and not distracting but still capable of drawing the deserved attention.

  • Nicole | March 9, 2008 at 12:03 am |

    I was at that Blackhawks game last night (just strolled back to Milwaukee from Chicago a little while ago) and I have to say I’m not sure what the impetus was behind it. I bought the tickets for my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day and at the time of purchase, no special event was listed. There was no mention of it on that day on the schedule or the promotions schedule.

    So I was surprised when I went on to the Hawks website Friday morning to check the rosters and saw information about the tribute.

    My guess is that interest in the team and ticket sales were lagging and these guys are 2 of the most beloved of all Blackhawks, so they brought them in and packed the place to the rafters.

    It’s late and it’s been a long whirlwind weekend, so my brain might be a little sluggish, but as far as I can see, there is no anniversary or reason for it.

    That being said, there were more Mikita jerseys walking around that place than anyone else.

    I have a few uni-related observations that I’ll be emailing to Paul after I get some sleep and if they don’t make the ticker, I’ll pass them along in comments.

  • Paul Lukas | March 9, 2008 at 12:24 am |

    [quote comment=”236330″][quote comment=”236327″]Answer me this, Bryan. Why post on a blog if you can’t take valid criticism and criticize how others express themselves? My comment that was deleted was not out of line.

    Guillen chooses to express himself in this way, and I applaud it. It is different. It is part of him and possibly part of his culture.

    Because you don’t understand it or like it, you criticize it.

    Well I don’t like that you criticize it, so I feel I should be able to criticize you just as you are free to criticize my point of view. I believe your posts often come across as snarky and a little mean-spirited.[/quote]

    Dude, I haven’t deleted anything. I just got here. But I fail to see how titanium sleeves are a part of anybody’s culture.[/quote]

    For the record: I’m the one who deleted that post, because it was just too pathetic.

    Yes, Bryan’s posts are sometimes snarky. And what exactly is the problem with that? If you don’t like it, go read something else instead of picking on the substitute teacher. Jeez.

  • Mike Engle | March 9, 2008 at 12:35 am |

    [quote comment=”236420″][quote comment=”236330″][quote comment=”236327″]Answer me this, Bryan. Why post on a blog if you can’t take valid criticism and criticize how others express themselves? My comment that was deleted was not out of line.

    Guillen chooses to express himself in this way, and I applaud it. It is different. It is part of him and possibly part of his culture.

    Because you don’t understand it or like it, you criticize it.

    Well I don’t like that you criticize it, so I feel I should be able to criticize you just as you are free to criticize my point of view. I believe your posts often come across as snarky and a little mean-spirited.[/quote]

    Dude, I haven’t deleted anything. I just got here. But I fail to see how titanium sleeves are a part of anybody’s culture.[/quote]

    For the record: I’m the one who deleted that post, because it was just too pathetic.

    Yes, Bryan’s posts are sometimes snarky. And what exactly is the problem with that? If you don’t like it, go read something else instead of picking on the substitute teacher. Jeez.[/quote]
    Now I’m wondering when Mr. Redemske became the sub around here. Silver medal, check? I think so…

  • Marcus | March 9, 2008 at 12:53 am |

    [quote comment=”236395″]With the exception of his first post criticizing the high-school kid, IMO Bryan has been doing a fine job on the weekends, and I don’t understand why people just feel the need to unload on him. I get the feeling that people are going to complain about anybody who isn’t PL. It’s the weekend, fellas. Lighten up.[/quote]

    I honestly don’t remember any hostility towards Vince. I’m thinking maybe there’s some cycling haters or something. That is the only thing that I can think of…..

  • Josh Petty | March 9, 2008 at 2:19 am |

    I was watching the Cubs/Diamondbacks Spring Training game today (FINALLY! Baseball’s back!) and noticed something a little odd in one of the late innings. One of the late inning subs for the Cubs, wearing a high number and no name on his back (aka no chance of making the big club), was also wearing an adjustable cap. That stuck me as a little odd. In most Spring Training games, you’ll see guys with crappy high numbers and no name (while most other guys have names and their regular number), but you rarely see the adjustable cap.

  • Azul Army | March 9, 2008 at 2:25 am |

    Bryan- You don’t need to defend your posts. Let all these self appointed Board Marshals start their own blogs and subject themselves to the same criticism they are spewing out. It’s easy to snipe from afar; it’s much less easy to be on the front lines.

    And in the spirit of full disclosure, I don’t always like your posts. But like my local newspaper, I am not obligated to read it or reply to the editorials.

  • Tom | March 9, 2008 at 2:45 am |

    [quote comment=”236417″]I was at that Blackhawks game last night (just strolled back to Milwaukee from Chicago a little while ago) and I have to say I’m not sure what the impetus was behind it. I bought the tickets for my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day and at the time of purchase, no special event was listed. There was no mention of it on that day on the schedule or the promotions schedule.

    So I was surprised when I went on to the Hawks website Friday morning to check the rosters and saw information about the tribute.

    My guess is that interest in the team and ticket sales were lagging and these guys are 2 of the most beloved of all Blackhawks, so they brought them in and packed the place to the rafters.

    It’s late and it’s been a long whirlwind weekend, so my brain might be a little sluggish, but as far as I can see, there is no anniversary or reason for it.

    That being said, there were more Mikita jerseys walking around that place than anyone else.

    I have a few uni-related observations that I’ll be emailing to Paul after I get some sleep and if they don’t make the ticker, I’ll pass them along in comments.[/quote]

    It seems that the ‘Hawks honored Hull and Mikita last night as a way of reconnecting with the fan base. The organization has basically treated both the former greats and the fans like garbage over the years. For example they didn’t sign Brett Hull because it would have meant that Bobby Hull would’ve been around the team. Most famously the team refused to broadcast home games on TV. This has been recently rectified by the new chairman, a fact which was repeatedly mentioned last night. Its definitely odd to see something like this, but I see it as the organization paying some back taxes to the fans and players.

  • Geoff | March 9, 2008 at 2:46 am |

    I’m not sure if this has been mentioned before, but I was just watching the Cavs/Pacers higlights on SportsCenter, and I could have sworn that one of the Pacers was wearing yellow-leg warmers.

  • Big O | March 9, 2008 at 6:48 am |

    Bryan, Do you always cause problems (j/k) or does it just seem to find you.

    Keep up the good work.

  • John | March 9, 2008 at 9:17 am |

    Guillen looks absolutely ridiculous. If I was a manager,I would ban all jewelry, and especially the wearing the sunglasses on the hat idiocy. A few years ago, I remember a player on my Mets lost the ball in the sun because his glasses were on his hat and not on his eyes. This ain’t beer league softball in Central Park, guys!

  • Free Vick | March 9, 2008 at 1:42 pm |

    This post is doesn’t know what it’s about.

    The headline proclaims that the post is about over-accessorized players. The text picks up a completely dead-horse thread about performance enhancers.

    Bryan lists six items that either show that Carlos is over-accessorized, or “enhancing his performance” or both. It’s unclear which of these ideas really structures the post.

    As Matt pointed out in post 31, the source of the humor here really isn’t the number of superfluous accessories Guillen has on. (One infers that a player is OVER-accessorized when he wears accessories that exceed his needs.)

    The hat is needful because it is part of the uniform and is only brought in unde the performance-enhancement concept. The tape is likely needful because of an injury. The carcinogenic dip does not fit the “performance enhancement” concept and isn’t conspicuously needless because it’s so widely used in baseball. This group of three is unremarkable and would not have earned mention if found without the other three items.

    The item about eyewear is funny, but falls under the “over-accessorized” concept rather than the “performance-enhancement” one. The joke is about how they exceed reasonable needs rather than how they confer some special benefit. So again, we’re switching between concepts.

    The crosses and sleeves are treated as performance enhancers in a problematic way. The item abut the sleeves is syntactically ambiguous. Bryan writes: “And you thought the necklaces were dumb.”

    1. Is Bryan talking about Titanium necklaces, like the ones on TV? If so, it actually makes more sense to put titanium on your arms than around your neck because your arms are more involved in throwing the ball and swinging the bat. (Of course, whether titanium confers any benefit at all is a separate question.)

    2. Is Bryan talking about the cross necklaces from the previous item? If so, Bryan is belittling a personal religious observation by comparing it to a sham pseudo-science and I find that offensive. Cross necklaces, broadly speaking, are neither sold nor worn as talismanic charms. Bryan is clearly trying to drag up the “Performance Enhancement” thread that he drops elsewhere, but even so, I’d like Bryan to explain what about cross necklaces is “dumb” if that’s what he’s referring to. That remark is not mandated by the performance-enhancement concept.

    That previous item, which specifically treats the cross necklaces, seems to corroborate the second of these interpretations. It also shows again how Bryan can’t stay clear on what he’s writing about.

    What I perceive as the source of the humor about the necklaces is that there are so many of them and that, as a group, they look like they’d be unnecessarily heavy and cumbersome for someone involved in an athletic endeavor. This easily and inoffensively fits into the “over-accessorized” concept.

    Instead, Bryan targets the necklaces’ religious function as performance-enhancing: “When the final hour approaches, the deity in charge won’t have any trouble finding Carlos.” Carlos is, one hopes, nowhere near his final hour in this photo, so that’s inapposite.

    Bryan’s subsequent riffing about combining the titanium’s putative healing powers with those of the cross continues to debase the cross symbol as a trinket and a pseudo-scientific talismanic trinket for the gullible.

    He conflates the cross with Jesus the person even though I don’t perceive a crucifix on any of Guillen’s necklaces and that’s not mandated by the performance-enhancement concept. Also, I find it offensive. He could have avoided this if he’d stuck with the titular “over-accessorized” concept and joked about how numerous and heavy the necklaces seem. But I’m still not clear exactly what the overriding concept was here.

  • Robert | March 9, 2008 at 8:36 pm |

    I usually try to stay away from the back and forth but the anti cycling spew gets my attention. Unlike Bryan I’m not ranked but I wear what I wear because it all has a purpose. When I ride I want to be comfortable on the bike and I want the energy to go into the pedal stroke, not into shorts flapping in the breeze or a cotton shirt soaked in sweat adding weight or discomfort. I also want to be SEEN by cars so the brighter the colors the better.

    So, how about you just let me wear what I want to wear? I can keep wearing my cycling gear and you can keep wearing regular clothes on your bike. Maybe you can wear a suit and tie to the gym, too.

    Roll your pants leg up…yeah, ’cause that doesn’t look dumb.

  • Dan | March 9, 2008 at 10:57 pm |

    hey, those Phiten sleeves actually work.. i play professional wiffle ball and i found that those sleeves keep the blood flowing in my arm really nicely. it opens up the capillaries or something really cool like that.

  • ScottS | March 10, 2008 at 1:18 am |

    Now 74 – THAT was funny.