By Mr. Grzegorek, Your Substitute Teacher
My favorite days in school, besides the ones involving an American Gladiator-style obstacle course, were the ones when whatever teacher had called in sick. That meant substitute teachers, and that usually meant movies instead of books (with the exception of those subs that took their jobs waaayy too seriously).
Coincidentally, I find myself sitting in for Paul today, and I’m looking at a very lengthy lesson plan in front of me. Nike… blah, blah, blah… striped socks… blah, blah, blah… captain patches… blah, blah, blah… hemming, piping, vertical lettering… blah, blah blah. That lesson plan just got buried in Caitlin and Tucker’s litterbox.
Instead: Uni Watch Movie Day! We’ve got a full slate of uniform-related movies to look at, so sit back and don’t throw spitballs.
Movie #1. We’re starting with a two-part tour of Mitchell & Ness in Philadelphia, which features loads of fascinating information. I’m not giving away any of my favorites, but watch and find out how 12,000 yards of wool flannel and a Pirates jersey got Peter Capolino interested in making throwbacks. Be sure to watch both parts.
Movie #2. Every once in awhile you’ll watch a horrible player and mutter something to the effect of, “He should be bagging groceries,” or, “He might as well be doing landscaping for a living instead of playing baseball.” Well, the last comment wouldn’t be too far off for the following player. He’s already prepared for that career.
Movie #3. This next video has been mentioned in the ticker before, but I think it’s worth revisiting, if just because the baseball season is coming to a close (and because our main teacher, who’s out sick, is featured at the end of the movie).
Movie #4. As good as that was, Tulane’s baseball team is about to put you in a very sour mood. You don’t even want to know what they wore during the 1985 season. (Warning: Very long video, but thankfully you can just stop watching after the first few seconds to avoid vomiting all over your desk.)
Movie #5. Our next selection should put you in a better mood. I’m not sure whether I’m linking to this because what this girl says is interesting, or just because she’s cute.
Movie #6. Ever dream about the day you climb into your parent’s attic and find a piece of sports history that is worth millions? Be jealous and grit your teeth as you listen to the following interview of a man who found the oldest manufactured hockey stick in existence.
Movie #7. Now I’m in a cranky mood. How come my dad’s parents threw out his collection of Mickey Mantle baseball cards? How come all I find in my grandfather’s attic are empty bottles of cheap vodka and cans of peppers? Let’s lighten the mood with this rant about pine tar and batting helmets.
Movie #8. And we conclude our program with a bunch of Washington Capitals players describing their least-favorite uniforms. Enjoy.