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How to Place a Uni Watch Classified Ad

Want to run an ad in the Uni Watch Classifieds? Here’s everything you need to know:

• You can advertise anything — help wanted, job wanted, hot date wanted (good luck), memorabilia for sale, DIY services available, organize social gatherings, a link to your blog, a link to your e-commerce site, a petition to get teams to stop wearing black, conspiracy theories, whatever. I don’t really plan to play hall monitor on this page, but I do reserve the right to reject ads that push the limits of stupidity and/or belligerence. So if you’re a Red Sox fan and think it would be worth $15 to place an ad that simply says, “YANKEES SUCK DICK!!!!!,” please don’t bother. Or at least try to be more creative.

• For now, I’ll just lump everything together into one big list; eventually, if there are enough ads to warrant it, I’ll break things out into separate sections — “Help Wanted,” “Stuff for Sale,” etc.

• Ads will cost $15 per week, or $10 for Uni Watch Membership Program enrollees.

• Ads will be limited to 65 words, not including contact info. HTML is fine but not required. You can link to images (or to anything else on the web), but the ad itself cannot include images — just text.

• If you want people to respond to your ad, there are several ways you can let them do so: (1) Provide your phone number. Personally, I wouldn’t recommend this method, but hey, it’s your life. (2) Provide a link to a web site that includes your contact info. (3) Provide your e-mail address. I think this is the best method. If you don’t want to disclose your regular address, just create a new gmail or yahoo address and use that. Easy. (4) If you don’t want to do any of these, I will assign you a box number. Respondents will send e-mail to me (”Responding to Box #7,” or whatever), and I will forward it to you. This service will cost an extra $5 per week.

• To place an ad, PayPal the proper amount to paul_lukas at earthlink dot net. If you’re not PayPal-ish, send a check, money order, or well-concealed cash to Paul Lukas, 671 DeGraw St., Brooklyn, NY 11217.

• Ads will be posted no later than two weekdays after payment is received (and usually much sooner than that) and will be removed one week after they’re posted. If you want to renew for another week, just send another payment.