Hello there. Welcome to the 2016 edition of Uni Watch’s Purple Amnesty Day — or as I now like to call it, the Purp Walk. Today is the site’s anniversary, which by longstanding tradition is the one day of the year when I grudgingly acknowledge the world’s most accursed color.
Some quick background: People sometimes say I have “purplephobia.” But as I always explain to such people, that’s not the case, because “phobia” means fear. I don’t fear purple; I loathe purple. If anything, purple should fear me.
What makes me hate purple so much? Short answer: a near-bottomless reservoir of good taste. Longer answer (which I also gave in last week’s installment of Question Time): I actually think purple in nature is quite nice — violets, plums, eggplants. But purple as a human-imposed design element has always struck me as tasteless and tacky. It’s the diva of colors, the Celine Dion of colors — loud, abrasive, never content to do just enough when it can do way too much.
And I’m not alone. As a culture, or even as a species, we seem to understand purple’s tackiness. Not a single U.S. state uses purple as one of its official colors, and neither does any sovereign country (at least according to this listing). It’s no accident that we rarely see a purple house or a purple car. Now if we could just eradicate purple clothing, accessories, and yoga mats too.
But do I think teams like the Vikings, Rockies, and LSU should stop wearing purple? Honestly, no — they chose their colors and
now they’re stuck with them that’s part of who they are. And so today Uni Watch grits its collective teeth and salutes this most loathsome of hues.
Purple Amnesty Day has three components: (Continue reading)