With a Rubber Hose

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Mildly surreal sight last night at the Big A, as Ervin Santana, apparently suffering from a nosebleed, took the mound for the top of the 4th against the Chisox with a very prominent wad of tissue wedged up his left nostril (lots of screen shots here).

After giving up a leadoff double and then a walk, Santana removed the tissue, tossed it away, and then rubbed his jersey on his nose to see if it was still bleeding. (It wasn’t.)

I was wondering if anyone else had spotted this, so I googled “Ervin Santana nosebleed” and discovered that Santana had had a similar problem back in 2009. Only that time it was his right nostril that was bleeding.

All this comes just a day after Mets outfielder Angel Pagan nearly missed an at-bat because he had a case of the trots and was stuck in the john. So MLB players’ various orifices have basically been running like open faucets on consecutive days. Look for Dan Uggla to dig some serious earwax out of his aural canal tonight. Either that or Mike Pelfrey will just vomit on the mound (which, let’s face it, would be better than what he usually does there).

We wrap up with history’s shortest video segment, as reader Seth Moorman heroically captured the two-second sequence in which Santana excised the tissue:

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My entire life has been leading up to this: Today I’m proud to announce the launch of The Butcher’s Case, a new blog that marks my partnership with the wonderful butcher shop Fleisher’s. If you like meat, you’ll definitely want to read it. I’ll have new posts tomorrow and Friday, and then I’ll probably settle into a rhythm of posting about three times a week. Grrrr, tech problems already, on the site’s very first day. Hope to have it fixed in a day or two.

And hey, speaking of meat: You know that T-shirt I used to sell, the one inspired on a certain New York-based team and a certain protein-based foodstuff? Wouldn’t it be great — hypothetically speaking, that is — if that shirt design had a companion design? Indeed it would. But I’m just speaking hypothetically, of course.

Stirrups Club — last chance: Today’s the last day to get in on Robert Marshall’s latest stirrup offerings. For details, look here.

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Uni Watch News Ticker: I asked Joe Skiba about the Giants wearing their road pants at home on Monday night. “We’re using our practice pants for game pants, since we have 90 players on the roster,” he said. As for Eli Manning’s old-style jersey with the red triangle, he said, “Eli has been back to the traditional cut since the end of last season. The red triangle was just an oversight — gotta cover it up with a blue one by the next game. That jersey came right outta the bag.” … Tris Wykes decided to find out what it’s like to gear up as a field hockey goalie. … That new Cy-Hawk Trophy has already been scrapped. … Someone with the White Sox has a good sense of humor, at least judging by the fun NOB that showed up at the Frank Thomas statue unveiling the other day (big thanks to Aaron Parish). … Here’s a gallery of MLS soccer kits through the years (from Donnie Kwak). … New dark jerseys for UConn soccer (from Gregory Koch). … Boise State will unveil their Corporate Sandwich Game costume on Thursday. … Chris Mason loves his new mask (from RJ Evans). … Here’s an interesting shot from last year: Note how Donovan McNabb’s facemask color was different from his teammates’, probably because he brought his old mask from Philly and had it painted (good spot by Ryan Perkins). … Here’s one of those obligatory U.S. Open fashion previews (from Chris Flinn). … Reprinted from last night’s comments: No alts this year for the Blackhawks. … Several of you asked if Uni Watch HQ got through the earthquake okay. This should give you a sense of how it went (thanks, Kirsten). … Dennis Couvillion notes that Riddell has introduced a new branding vehicle helmet design. “I checked the Riddell web site and discovered that’s it’s the Riddell 360 (which is temporarily out of stock due to demand),” he says. “It lists for $420, as opposed to $244 for the Revolution Speed.” … Here’s a uni unveiling, 1948-style. That’s Molly Urban of Wilson Sporting Goods, showcasing the Phils’ 1948 uniforms. … Chris Fernandez spotted Juan Pierre wearing a camo undershirt last night. … Steve Mandich has been doing a Throwback Thursday series on his Ichiro blog, featuring photos of Ichiro in various M’s throwbacks. … Check out this great story about a DIY football field in the Midwest (nice one from Jim Vilk). … “I play football for a semi-pro football team in Warminster, Pennsylvania,” writes Matt McDermott. “Last weekend we had our first game and we were supposed to be at home, so we only ordered our home blue jerseys. The league, which is called the Big East Football Federation, switched our game to away and we were stuck playing a team that also wore predominantly blue uniforms, creating a blue-on-blue game.”

Sorry, I Wasn't Paying Attention, Did You Say Something?

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You know what’s really great about college football uni design these days?


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Exactly.

Design considerations aside — and the design is pretty brutal — when the coach begins his remarks at the unveiling event by parroting the uniform manufacturer’s slogan (yes, those were literally the first words out of his mouth), you’ve pretty much abandoned any pretense of this being anything other than a corporate masturbation session, a retailing showcase, and a sham.

But me, I don’t cover retailing showcases. I cover uniforms. As soon as Maryland unveils a football uniform, I’ll be glad to write about it. If they’re determined to serve as corporate mannequins for costumes being marketed to children, that’s certainly their prerogative, but I’m not particularly interested. Let’s move on.

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Collector’s Corner

By Brinke Guthrie

This baseball uni is from the 1940s, it has the requisite stirrups, so Paul should bid on it. Or maybe this 1960s Mets pennant will do [both way overpriced, alas — PL].

But of course eBay is full of things that can appeal to all sorts of tastes, not just Paul’s. For example:

• Remember these 1970s NFL posters? I had a ton of ’em, and each one had multiple thumb-tack holes in each corner from being moved around.

• Reader Dave Rivitz contributed several items, including this 1950s Otto Graham-signed game program, and this set of NFL figures. That auction’s over, but I thought the figures were so cool that you needed to see ’em anyway.

• Nice-looking 1970s Jets sweater. Not Rex’s size, though.

• Here’s an entire display board of 1970s NFL helmet pencil sharpeners!

• Here’s another helmet display board, this time from the 1960s, promoting Kessler Whiskey.

Seen something on eBay that you think would make good Collector’s Corner fodder? Send your submissions here.

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Stirrups Club reminder: Robert Marshall has a new set of stirrups for sale. For details, look here.

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Uni Watch News Ticker: The Braves have finally started wearing their Ernie Johnson memorial patch. … Ten of the 12 teams in the WNBA are getting a new uniform sponsor. … The group looking to save historic Hinchliffe Stadium in Paterson, N.J., which I wrote about last summer, has received a grant (from Dave Rakowski). … The Padres retired Trevor Hoffman’s number on Sunday, and the ceremony included the team’s previous number retirees wearing throwback jerseys, plus Mat Latos wore a Hoffman tribute jersey. … Marvel Comics has done a lot of sports crossover promotions lately, but I didn’t realize they’d been working with the NFL way back in 1970 (nice find by Ronnie Poore). … Ho-hum, another flag-draped uniform. But here’s the weird part: That’s the jersey for the Orangeville Americans — who play in Orangeville, Ontario. “The team is full of American college hockey prospects,” says Will Leslie — hence the name. … Lots of great ballpark scale models on display here (from Joe Dotzman). … Can’t get enough of those stadium models? Check out the miniature Big A that this 16-year-old made (from Jeremiah Allen). … Still more about the stitching on Michael Vick’s shoulders: David Pealing points out that I Ticker-linked to this photo back in 2009, so this stitching pattern is nothing new for the Eagles. … Austin Gillis reports that his alma mater, Oglethorpe University, wore very interesting basketball uniforms in 1968-69. Dig the contrast-color sleeves, one with a star and one with an “O.” … Good piece on history’s silliest military uniforms (thanks, Brinke). … No photos, but an interesting note from Ken Guckenberger, who writes: “I lucked into first-row seats near the visiting on-deck circle at Coors Field yesterday, and we noticed many of Dodgers had huge repair patches on their pants. Two-thirds of the batters had patches at least two-by-three inches. They looked like a barnstorming team from the ’30!” … This is pretty good — a taxonomy of wrestler names! (From James McNamara.) … We may have covered this before, but just in case: 1954 was the Orioles’ first year (at least at the MLB level), so their uniforms had to be airbrushed into existence for that year’s baseball cards. But why did Bowman add an apostrophe to the insignia? Very odd (major thanks to Scott Little). … In a related item, Old Navy doesn’t know how to use an apostrophe (from Jonathon Binet). … New football uniforms for Western Carolina (from Greg McLamb). … Ryan Burns reports that Ole Miss has a really nice ticket design this year. … Tons of helmet variations on display at Arizona State’s practice the other day. “Some players had no decals, some had ‘fork’ decals down the middle, and it looks like at least one player even had the old Sparky decal on the black helmet,” says Joe Albano. … Georgia Tech is having an informal competition to see who gets to wear No. 9. For details, scroll down to the third item on this page (big thanks to Mike Rich). … EA Sports is shipping NHL 12 without Winnipeg Jets uniforms. “The NHL series has always delayed the release of the third jerseys until they all are announced officially, but this is unprecedented,” says Tim E. O’Brien. “I wonder if the Jets’ uniforms will look like this. Either that or Thrashers uniforms.” … Speaking of video games, Brett Paci appears to have spotted a Madden error: The stripe on the Bills’ helmet is straight, instead of getting wider toward the back. … Two notable things in this shot from last night’s Giants game: The Jints wore their road pants at home, and Eli Manning was wearing an old-style jersey with the red triangle at the base of the collar (the super-stretchies don’t have the triangle). I’ve asked Joe Skiba about both of these — will advise. … “My wife works for the U.S. Embassy here in Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia, so this is home for the next couple years,” says Matthew Algeo. “Joe Biden came to visit on Monday, and he was wearing a cap with the Vice Presidential seal. It was adjustable, not fitted. He gave one to the Mongolian prime minister, Sukhbaatar Batbold, who wore it pretty much all day.” … I’m not sure anyone needs another article about shorts no longer being short, although at least this one is reasonably well written. … The most pathetic sports site on the web (and I should know, because they’ve plagiarized from me several times) is making a weak stab at some semblance of respectability. … New uniforms for the 49ers’ cheerleaders (from Scott Winters). … Two new masks in the works for Ilya Bryzgalov — this one and this one (from Matt Pesotski). … Teebz did a nice little write-up on the story behind Gordie Howe holding a “President” jersey. … Martin Luther King is unquestionably the greatest American of my lifetime, and we should all be proud that he’s now represented on the National Mall. But this wise-ass critique of the new MLK Memorial isn’t just entertaining — it’s also a really sharp piece of design criticism. Too bad the guy who runs this here uniform site didn’t apply that approach to the Maryland costumes instead of just taking his ball and going home, right? … RIP, Jerry. You and Mike were the best of the best.

Programming note: I’ll be busy running to the mall to pick up some Terps merch doing some reporting for other projects today, so Phil will have the keys to the car. I know for a fact that he loves the new Maryland costumes, so be sure to tell him what you think of them. It’ll make his day! See you tomorrow.

Now He Just Needs to Add a Lightning Jersey

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I don’t know much about Rays skipper Joe Maddon except what I see, but what I see usually looks pretty good. From a Uni Watch standpoint, he has the glasses, he likes to wear the hoodie, he got the whole team wearing the BRayser, and I’m assuming he had something to do with the striped stirrups. Plus he appears to be the most entertaining arguer in the current MLB managerial ranks.

Throughout all of this, Maddon strikes me as a very smart, very engaged guy who knows how to be just semi-eccentric enough to keep his team loose, but not so loopy that they lose respect for him. It’s a fine line, and my impression — again, from afar, as someone who doesn’t follow the Rays on a daily basis — is that he pulls it off with aplomb.

But nothing in Maddon’s previous bag of tricks prepared me for what he did yesterday. Take a gander:

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That’s right — Maddon wore a Bucs helmet for his post-game press conference, a rare feat of managerial cross-dressing that ranks as an instant classic.

So what’s the story behind this? The short version is that Maddon is tight with Bucs coach Raheem Morris (a slightly longer version, including a little video clip in which Maddon explains the whole thing, is available on Cork Gaines’s excellent Rays Index site). But leaving aside the whys and the wherefores, how many other MLB managers could pull off a stunt like this? Like, can you imagine Mike Quade showing up in a Bears helmet? No way. Bruce Bochy in a Niners helmet? Nuh-uh. Jim Leyland in a Lions helmet? Maaaaybe, except who’d be caught dead wearing a Lions helmet?

As a Mets fan, I have no particular gripes with Terry Collins, who seems to have done a decent job this year. But if I had my pick of any current MLB skipper to run the Mets, I’d take Maddon — and not just because it’d be great for Uni Watch. Although that part certainly wouldn’t hurt.

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Charlotte shuffle: Last week I Ticker-linked to the old Hornets logo shown at right and mentioned that I had no memory of it. That prompted the following from reader Jeff Spry:

I interned with the Hornets’ Media Relations department back in the summer of 1988. This was the Hornets’ first year and I got to do a lot of work with the expansion draft, the first media guide, the new stadium, the new uniforms, and other work heading into that first season.

I remember that logo clearly and have some old T-shirts and I think even a pennant somewhere with that logo on it. It also appears in this photo, which ran in the July 1988 edition of The Bee Line, the official newsletter of the Hornets. I think the player in the white jersey is Ralph Lewis and the player in the dark jersey is Ennis Whatley.

The front page of that newsletter had a story about the unveiling of the team’s first uniform, which was designed by Alexander Julian. You’ll notice Julian refused payment but did accept a monthly shipment of North Carolina BBQ in exchange for his services. The model is Kelly Tripuka, whom we attained by trading Mike Brown (the seventh pick in the expansion draft) straight-up to Utah. Also notice that the newsletter feature the cartoon logo — the old one must not have lasted long.

Excellent stuff — thanks, Jeff.

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Because man cannot live by uni alone: There’s a new post on the Permanent Record blog. And I think I may be able to give you the details on my new meat/butchery blog by tomorrow, whoop-whoop.

Stirrups Club reminder: Robert Marshall has a new set of stirrups for sale. For details, look here.

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Uni Watch News Ticker: According to the Icethetics site, the Islanders’ new third jersey will look like this, which is so bad it actually veers into high comedy. Is this Wang’s revenge for losing the Coliseum referendum earlier this month? … New trophy for the Iowa/Iowa State game (from Cody Dannen). … Looks like Bill Olds was having some helmet decal issues. Bill Kellick spotted that in footage of a 1975 game. … Somebody somewhere processed the order for the Warren County (Tenn.) high school football team’s uniforms. Perhaps that someone should have said, “Uh, maybe you might wanna rethink that” (courtesy of Todd Herzog). … New football uniforms for the U. of Indianapolis (from Jacob Kubuske). … Good article about the SF Giants’ mascot (thanks, Brinke). … Also from Brinke: a bunch of scans from old NFL/Sears catalogs. … With the new Meadowlands stadium about to succumb to corporate douchebaggery, several people have been asking me if No Mas and I will produce a Naming Wrongs T-shirt for the occasion. We actually came out with that shirt a year ago, anticipating the inevitable. … The Astros became Los Astros on Saturday. … Maryland will unveil its new football uniforms today. … Gaelic football news from Denis Hurley, who writes: “Kerry and Mayo met on Sunday in the All-Ireland football semifinal. As both counties wear mainly green jerseys, they have been asked to wear alternative kits. Here’s how the Kerry/Mayo match-up has been handled in th epast. … New football uniforms for USF. … Blain Fowler reports that Under Armour has moved in a new direction: They’ve entered into their first sponsorship deal with a gymnast. … Lee Ziegler provided us with another look at that unusual stitching on Michael Vick’s shoulders. I sent the screen shot to Giants equipment director Joe Skiba, who said, “I believe it’s to eliminate stretch.” … Here’s a great gallery of photos from the Expos’ 1970 home opener (big thanks to Andrew Woolley). … Congrats to reader David Griffin, who finished third in the Toronto Star’s Blue Jays redesign contest. “Of course I still prefer it to the first- and second-place versions,” he says. … Really, really excellent piece about the role of the military uniform in contemporary American life. Recommended reading. … My friend Amy is currently taking culinary classes, and yesterday afternoon I attended a brunch that they held at the school. The seating was communal, so I started yakking with the guy sitting across the table from me, who was there because his wife is enrolled in the culinary program. One thing led to another, and it turned out that he’s longtime reader Matt Powers’s first cousin. Seriously, what are the odds? … Can’t figure out which NFL team to root for? Here’s a handy flowchart (from R. Scott Rogers). … New logo for Western Oregon University. … Noticed Johnny Damon wearing navy stirrups with navy sannies yesterday. Has he been doing this for a while? … New Iron Maiden-themed goalie mask for Chris Mason (from Kyle Allebach). … We all know college football teams often have multiple players with the same uni number, but I’d never seen it happen in the NFL before. Eric Stangel spotted that during last night’s Chargers/Cowboys game. … The AHL’s Springfield Falcons will be honoring all their past championship teams by wearing a Calder Cup jersey on Opening Night (from Nick LaRosa). … Check this out: Chargers vs. Chargers! That’s Evangel Christian and North River Christian, who faced off in Alabama last Friday (great find by Chuck Beech). … Dan Cichalski alerted me to a little mystery over on the Ballcap Blog: Can anyone identify this cap?

Red Menace

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In case you were busy leading a well-adjusted life yesterday, Georgia unveiled its Amateur Pacifist costume, which will be worn in the Chicken Sandwich Game, or Christian Sandwich Game, or whatever it is, on Sept. 3 (additional pics — about half of which focus on the nose bumper for some reason — here). Yes, that’s a striped facemask, which surely qualifies as a high point in the annals of human achievement.

Boise State, incidentally, will be wearing its own monochromatic costume for that game, so it’ll be a rare color-vs.-color match-up. — Paul

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Benchies HeaderBenchies

by Rick Pearson

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Really sucks when your quarterback goes to a new town (click on comic for larger version)…

s-Ozzie QB mono RED-1

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65 Candles65 Candles

By Phil Hecken

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Sometimes, it’s best just to say nothing.

Birthday Benchies 65

Happy Birthday, Rick!