[Editor’s Note: A year ago, Chris Markham showed everyone how to make a helmet cup holder. Today he’s back with his latest DIY project.]
By Chris Markham
Here in Rochester, we don’t really have a hometown MLB team root for. While most people generally root for the Yankees or Mets, we’re actually situated much closer to the Blue Jays, Indians, and Pirates. So while growing up in the early 1990s, I had my football and hockey teams — the Bills and Sabres — but I didn’t a baseball team. Then came the 1993 expansion Rockies and Marlins. Long story short, I ended up picking the Rockies.
Fast forward to today: After 15 years of watching baseball, I have discovered that I enjoy the distinctive elements of a team’s scoreboard. The arches at Yankee Stadium, the NYC skyline at Shea, the pinwheels at Comi-, uh Cellular Field, the Royals’ crown, the prowling tigers at Comerica Park, the birds in St. Louis, etc.
But since I’m a Rockies fan, my favorite is the mountains at Coors Field. I’ve always liked the mountain logo separated from the arch. I don’t know why they don’t use that in more places. Plus the baseball is also a clock — clever. Anyway, one day I decided I was going to make a replica of it for my “man cave” basement.
First, I imported the Rockies logo into Illustrator and started from there. I removed the Colorado arch, arched the Rockies text and recolored it. I picked up two 30″ x 20″, 1/2″-thick pieces of poster board (seemed like the easiest and cheapest option) and the necessary paints. Then I used Illustrator to size the mountains at 28″ x 14″ and set it to an X,Y coordinate of 0,0. This made it possible for me to get the X,Y coordinates of each line, map it on the poster board, play connect the dots, and cut out the finished shape.
Since the mountains are the biggest part of this project, I put painter’s tape over all of the parts that are not purple and used a small paint roller to paint over the entire mountain range. After removing the tape, I had to accurately get the stitching of the ball on the mountain, I printed out a to-scale outline of the ball, cut out the stitching on the piece of paper, and traced it on the poster board. Then I painted the rest of the mountain and letters.
Last but not least, the clock. I went out to my local Wal*Mart and picked up some cheap clock for $4. I took off the face of clock and was left with the battery pack and hands. In Illustrator, I found the exact center of the ball was made a hole all the way through the poster board. I then traced around the battery pack, dug a hole in the poster board, and dropped the clock in.
Paul here. Pretty cool stuff, right? And as long as we’re talking DIY, James Huening reports that he took a cheap Chisox replica jersey and turned it into a 1950s/’60s version (“complete with yellowed fabric aging effect,” he notes), plus he turned some gym shorts into Bears pants. “These are more ‘entry-level’ or ‘remedial’ than some of the masterpieces you’ve featured in the past,” he says, “but I’m pretty proud of them, especially since I have virtually zero artistic talent.” Lots of additional photos here.
Why yes, I am a bit cranky today, why do you ask?: Major e-mail problems here at Uni Watch HQ. I’ll spare you the details and just say this: (a) If you happen to see an Earthlink executive walking by, please apprehend him as violently as possible and then give me a call. (b) If you’ve sent me some good material within the past 36 hours and haven’t seen it in the Ticker, it’s not because I’m ignoring you. Probably. And (c) Until further notice, please use this address for all Uni Watch communiqués: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Uni Watch Stirrup Club Update: Comrade Robert Marshall has returned from the front lines of the hosiery wars with a stirring report. I hereby surrender the floor to him and urge you to pay close heed to his words:
Fearless leader preaches the gospel of toeless hosiery in the daily Watcher, and I believe we, as cadre in colouful strype, have furthered the cause on ball fields throughout the land. Let us continue with four new choices to further the tapestry of the movement.
Now the bad news. Unfortunately, I not only have the writing style of a lunatic but the fiscal sense of an artist. The short version: I have lost a dollar-plus per pair for the last couple hundred pair. Please do not try to make anything up to me — the people who will want to do that are exactly the type of people to whom I am happy to say this: It was a necessary evil within the revolution, so let us continue to look forward in this fight. From each according to his styrrup, to each according to his strype.
However, the directions/prices for ordering have changed slightly — please check out the new procedures here.
I’m going to overrule Robert on his “Don’t bother to throw in a few extra bucks” admonition. In other words, please do throw in a few extra bucks for him. His envelope-stuffing and post office-schlepping alone are worth it, to say nothing of his hot new teevee commercial.
Last chance to make me proud: Couldn’t believe nobody responded to this on Wednesday, and I figure you can’t all be Dave Matthews fans, so let’s try this again: One of history’s most entertainingly sociopathic bands is playing at Southpaw tomorrow night, and I have two extra tickets that I’d be happy to sell at a discount. Remember, my regular e-mail’s all messed up, so use this address if you’re interested in the tix.
Uni Watch News Ticker: You may have noticed that Oregon’s offense and defense trotted onto the field last week in uni-numerical order (and yes, they have multiple players with the same number, but that’s nothing new). What’s more interesting is that they also went in numerical order when leaving the field after the first half (as spotted and photographed by Mike Kingery). … Holy NASCAR — literally (with thanks to Ryan Connelly). … The Dolphins have signed up for Club Douchebag. … Reprinted from yesterday’s comments: Yesterday’s Ticker mention of Shoelace Robinson, who never ties his cleats, reminded Graham Bakay of former NHL linesman Ray Scapinello, who often didn’t tie his skates. Bizarre. … So here’s the latest design revision of that stupid-ass basketball arena they’re trying to build down the road from my house. Nice to see that the architects are taking inspiration from such highbrow sources. … Exactly one entertaining thing has happened at Shea all season long, but what’s even more entertaining is the guy’s “punishment”: He’s banned from the stadium for a year. Doesn’t this seem more like a gift than a sanction? … Some examples of logo creep are even stupider than others (thanks, Kirsten). … Kyle Hinstorff notes that Georgia Stech’s single-digit TV numbers are off-center, almost as if they were two-digit numbers with the first numeral removed. … I collect salesman sample catalogs and love neon signage, so it’d be nice if one of y’all could get me this for Xmas (Kirsten already did her part by bringing it to my attention). … Neckwear note from Matthew Porges, who points out that Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth’s neckties matched the Titans’ and Steelers’ team colors, respectively, last night. … Here’s a great little item: When the Falcons wear their throwbacks on September 20th, they’ll also have a throwback ticket design. That news comes from Todd Vaught, who came up with the idea and whose design firm, Sky Design, executed it. “The tickets will show the old uniforms, explain the reason for the gold stripe on the helmet, etc.,” he writes. “We’re doing it die-cut with scalloped corners like old-school tickets. They’re being printed now.” … Florida A&M has some seriously weird pants. … The mighty Fleer Sticker Project has a great post about the cloth MLB team logo patches that were packaged in boxes of Sugar Crisp in 1955. Details here.