Sweet fancy Moses! Anybody want a crack at this kid? I’ll skip the state and school on this one, because last time I showed a high school kid who looked like a dumbass everybody lost their minds for the rest of the day.
This kid has pretty much everything required to be the “wrong” side in a right/wrong diagram for proper apparel. Before he’s rightly grilled, however, he does get credit for at least rolling the elastic of his pants cuffs under. Also, the jersey isn’t his fault, though he could choose to tuck it in.
But that hat — bangs out, huh? Cool. And the sweet face paint! (It’s not clown paint, kids. Remember that.) And the soon-to-be-required-on-all-athletes Phiten sleeve. Had those sleeves been available sooner, I’m convinced Tommy John would just be known as some guy who pitched a long time. Titanium cures all — even torn ulnar-collateral ligaments. Protect yourself accordingly today. — Bryan